Thursday, December 31, 2009

The 50s Bedroom

If one were to understand the sleeping arrangements of the couples in 1950s, one would think they all slept in separate twin beds. Since I was born in the 50s, I knew that wasn't so. The only married people I knew that slept in twin beds were my Grandma Terry and her husband. I thought it was odd, but not so much until I knew what sex was. I don't think they were having that much of it. They were married much later in life after they had both lost their spouses.

My parents slept in the same bed, and how! I would walk into their bedroom only to find them wrapped up together. That's how I though married people slept until I got married myself to someone who didn't like to be touched while he was sleeping, and we slept in a king-sized bed, so he had plenty of room! But that's another story. Back to the 50's.....

All couples on TV slept in twin beds until the Bradys, but that wasn't until 1969. Ward andJune Cleaver, Rob and Laura Petrie, and Jim and Margaret Anderson all slept in twin beds. I find it ironic that even Lucy and Ricky Ricardo didn't sleep in the same bed and they were married in real life!

One of my students recently wrote that it was common for couples in the 50's to sleep in separate beds. I questioned that and did some research. I found that many couples in the 50s slept in twin beds as do many today. In fact, according to ask.com fully 1/3 of married couples sleep separately, either in separate beds or in separate rooms. I have to admit, that I am one of them. I never thought I would sleep away from my husband considering how I was raised and my problems with cuddling with my first hubby, but that is how it has ended up and I'm glad about it. My husband is a snorer and has restless leg syndrome, added to his insomnia which gets him up at 3 or 4 on the morning. I hardly ever got a good night's sleep!

Now I sleep alone in our queen-sized bed and love it! I can stay up and read as late as I want, don't have to share the covers, and the bed is easily made the next day. He visits regularly for our romantic rendezvous and he stays to cuddle for awhile, but eventually he leaves for his own bed -- a recliner in the living room!



35 comments:

Brit said...

Your husband sleeps in a recliner in the living room? Sounds uncomfortable. At least get that man a sleeper sofa.

Sora S said...

bit selfish of you, why don't you sleep on the recliner, gender equality and all that....or at least take turns...i feel sorry for your husband

Unknown said...

I agree with the above comments. Sounds more like you kicked him out of the room and sent him to sleep on the couch like a dog. At least give him his own room and his own bed you selfish lady!

Unknown said...

I prefer a recliner. I've actually never have slept in my queen size bed. I only bought it because I was young and thought that's what the rest of society does.

Unknown said...

The first Tv sitcom to show couples sleeping in beds together was not the brady bunch(1969)...not sure what show is the first but I do know that I was watching an episode of bewitched(1964 season 1)today and they had a very large king sized bed they shared.

BettyM84 said...

Actually, Lucy and Ricky did start sharing a bed during the show. I'm not sure of which season, but they got a double at some point. I'm pretty sure there were a few other shows thst did too....before the Brady's came around.

Unknown said...

Gender equality aside, he or she that has the sleep disorder should be polite and courteous enough to remove themselves. My ex of 10 years started to snore the 5th year in, so since I was the light sleeper, I would fall asleep with him but if his snoring woke me I had the 2nd bedroom ready to go. Granted some ask why I didn't kick him out but it wouldn't be fair to wake somebody sleeping soundly to tell them to leave coz they snore. I am a very light sleeper so despite the fact I'm the female, I felt it was my sleep disorder so I should have to be the one to remove myself from the situation.

Regina Walker said...

I'm glad to hear that we aren't the only couple with sleeping together issues. My husband and I were in our 30's when we married and have totally different sleeping habits. He needs tv on- I need it off. He snores and I toss and turn. So much better with separate rooms!

zarric said...

I have to chip in on this. Me and my wife are in our mid 30s. She snores, tosses and turns and is a cover thief. I like things quiet and don't like the bed moving and also have really bad insomnia. For almost 20 years, yes 20 years, we have slept in a bed together and neither of us could have it any other way. It is the only type of torture that we can really love. It may be because of a learned habit of some kind considering how old we were when we started sharing a bed however, even if I don't come to bed because I'm up working all night doing my stuff in the living room, she will wake up to go to work and complain that she wanted me there and me thinking in my head wanting the same thing. I know other married couples or a few other people will understand this example. When you first got married and you wore your ring all the time it may have been somewhat of a nussance. It felt funny and it would catch on everything but you kept it on for at least most of the time. Years later you have the same ring but now you can't feel it. It feels like its apart of you even though its not. If you take it off even for a moment, it feels as you are now wearing something. Basically, you just got use to it and now it is the nakedness that bothers you. It don't really matter how old you are, its the commitment that matters the most. So it doesnt matter if you sleep in one or two beds but even when you see the advantages of a solo bed there probably will be more disadvantages on a psychological level but likewise there can be tangable disadvantages of sharing a bed with other advantages other than those involving gender relations.

Unknown said...

My husband and I don't sleep together often. He's a snorer, I'm a light sleeper. He sleeps in our king size bed with the dog, I prefer the couch. We have a wonderful relationship. I've slept in the recliner quite often as well. Even my grandfather sleeps in his recliner. You people saying she kicked him out shouldn't be so judgemental... maybe he prefers the recliner.

Unknown said...

Uhhh...I jus happen to Google "why did couples sleep in separate beds?" I guess I was looking for more understanding about whether or not it had anything to do with the culture of that time. While I didn't get that from the article necessarily, I didn't learn anything from the comments.
No offense ya'll but your comments kinda turned into a bash fest. I felt blindsided by the string of comments so I can't imagine what the author must feel.
None of us know their agreements for sleeping arrangements, nor do any of us have the right to impose our ideas of "how couples should sleep" on any other couple.
Couldn't help but comment...

Tango said...

I'm sure it's the way they BOTH want it. In my 30s I thought marriage is over if sleeping seperate.
Trust me it's not true. So people twist & turn all night and make it impossible to sleep. To each his own. I don't judge now.

Unknown said...

That's is a very thoughtful and thorough reply, thank you...

Unknown said...

How do you know how they decided who would sleep in the recliner? They could have had a week long argument about it, almost divorced, but the husband won out because he WANTED the recliner. As a husband, I believe I should take in the discomfort before my wife. That was a judgmental reply you gave. Try again.

Unknown said...

How do you know how they decided who would sleep in the recliner? They could have had a week long argument about it, almost divorced, but the husband won out because he WANTED the recliner. As a husband, I believe I should take in the discomfort before my wife. That was a judgmental reply you gave. Try again.

brenjane60 said...

I have watched a lot of Silver Screen Movies as of late and find it odd that in some as far back as the 30's the same bed was shared. It seems that the closer you got to the late 40's that the twin beds were dominant. I was led to this page in a quest of why did the moral issue of a double bed get so hyped in the 40's 50's and early 60's when in the 30's it did not seem to be as much of a issue. In response to some of the comments on here. I think a lot of men just stay where they fall asleep, for many that seems to be the recliner or the couch. I don't think it is the wife being selfish. I imagine a good share of the women would like it if their husband got up and came to bed. But realize for others that they relish the peaceful night in a bed alone. No one should cast stones till they live through it. I have. And know many others living thru this issue now. Many couples feel it would be shameful to have separate bedrooms. And care too much about what others think. So they just keep their little secret about who sleeps where tucked in wherever one lays their head. I think twin beds and separate rooms are aa trend that is reawakening for reasons that would surprise us all.

Justin Goldberg said...

I don't understand why people don't care enough about the person they love to help nudge them towards getting help with their breathing. I wear a plastic nose clip and take curcumin, which stops my snoring. I also use a grounding/earthing pad. It seems like voodoo but it seems to help me.

Justin Goldberg said...
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Justin Goldberg said...

The grounding pad helps me to sleep deeper, not my snoring.

These comments make me only strengthen my resolve to never get married, but I'm glad that there were many reasonable comments too. There's many posts elsewhere that mention it being a moral thing. Every man a king! People say that single people are lonely but I say the opposite is true, married people are some of the loneliest bunch, sadly.

Justin Goldberg said...
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Justin Goldberg said...

Considering that quality sleep is the most important thing in preserving health, I think everyone should sleep separately. It is unrelated to love or a lack of it.

Justin Goldberg said...
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Justin Goldberg said...

What led me to this post was there an episode of the twilight zone where they mention "let's sit on the bed" but they proceed to sit on two beds! It was season 1 episode 14.

Unknown said...

I just read that some laws prevented tv from showing a man and a woman in the same bed together until the late 60s. There are probably a lot of movies made, so many that just one person wouldn't know every single one..::: I actually met Ann older couple that slept in separate beds in the same room and they stayed married a looooonng time:-) maybe it also has to do with what your FAMILY's traditions are.. :)

Chris said...

Amen

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris said...

That's actually really kind of you.

Chris said...

First comment was a huge typo error so I deleted it. It literally came off as an unintentional insult. Lol

Chris said...

I love this interpretation.

Tishia said...

Ear plugs. Enough said.

Unknown said...

After Lucy and Desi were married in real life they started sleeping in the same bed on tv. I read this, so it might not have been true, but it made since. Also, there was a one foot rule after couples were shown in the same bed. For awhile that is. I know shows made in the mid to late 70's, couples cuddled in bed.

Unknown said...

Fred and Willma Flintstone was the first couple to sleep in the same bed. As far as nonantimated, I don't know.

The Serg said...

Lucy and Desi got married 10 years before I Love Lucy aired.

Unknown said...

Why is everyone so judgemental? I don't find anything in this post to be selfish, shocking, rude, sexist... I just had to post because I really can't believe the things people are saying about the author. It has nothing to do with the strength of the relationship, or how much people love one another. It's about quality of sleep. Just because for some people who have issues tend not to sleep in the same bed, it says nothing about a healthy relationship. I don't know why all these people feel like they are on the moral high ground. Sleeping situations are one of the least important factors in a relationship.

Southern Soldier said...

People are being super judgemental about this person which I don't get. My wife sleeps in our King sized bed every night but me I sleep all over the place. I snore, occasionally have restless legs, and back problems. Sometimes I sleep with her but sometimes my back can't take lying down so I sleep in the recliner. Sometimes I start in bed but end up on the couch. Just because I'm sleeping like crap one night is no reason for me to stay in the bed tossing and turning keeping her awake, I love her enough to get up and move and most of the time it helps me anyway. But on the nights I do sleep well in our bed she keeps earplugs on the nightstand in case my snoring wakes her. To each their own, people should worry about their own relationships instead of judging what is working in someone else's.